For the month of May, I am a guest contributor at Lady L 411, a website dedicated to sensuality, love, pleasure, and intimacy. I met Lady L last year, and I jumped at the chance to write a guest post on clothing and sexuality because finding your true confidence can be expressed easily and naturally through both – and often, both clothing and sexuality and the first ways women are suppressed, either by themselves or others, and dressing for myself helped me change the narrative. Read the excerpt below, or click here for the full post.
Many people will take a cursory glance at me, and immediately secure an opinion of me. I’m a knitwear designer, I talk a lot about fashion and minimalism, and I live in Memphis. You may be intrigued, you may immediately dismiss me, but the great thing is I don’t care what you think.
Women walk a tightrope around many things in their lives. We want to be assertive, but not forceful. We want to be heard, but not take up too much space. We want to be sexy and desirable, but we don’t want to be too sexy and attract attention. This delicate balance we attempt from moment to moment in our lives creates a terrible compression within ourselves that can make it difficult to fully express ourselves, and this is especially true when it comes to clothing and sexuality.
I have felt this struggle more than I care to admit because I grew up in a conservative family in the south. Ironically, my family is far more progressive than the stereotype you’re probably envisioning. I was encouraged to travel, to meet new people, to get a degree, and to run my own company, but that advice and encouragement didn’t always jive with the advice I was simultaneously given around keeping my head down, not making waves, and finding a partner who would basically regulate my hopes and dreams.